Standards
When I come home after dropping my son off at school, I can either take the express train or the local train.
The express train is definitely faster, but when I reach my stop I have to walk the full length of the train to get out of the station, and then I have to cross a busy street to get to our apartment, whereas with the local train I don't have to walk as far to exit the station and I don't have to cross the busy street.
I still usually opt for the express train because if the platform isn't too crowded and I don't just miss the traffic light, I do get home faster.
But then every time I take the express train, I experience a tinge of anxiety that the platform will be more crowded than usual and I'll end up watching the local passengers going merrily on their way while I'm waiting to cross the busy street at the traffic light I just missed. After all, taking the express train should be quicker, and it's a bummer when it's not.
But today, I decided to forget the whole thing and just plan on being slower. I chose the local train. And I had the best subway ride I've had in a long time.
The pressure was off. I no longer had to worry about whether I'd get there faster, because I had already resigned myself to being slower—I was supposed to get home later. Essentially I had lowered my standard for speed.
And it got me thinking about my stutter. Would I enjoy talking more if I lowered my standard for speech?
The express train is definitely faster, but when I reach my stop I have to walk the full length of the train to get out of the station, and then I have to cross a busy street to get to our apartment, whereas with the local train I don't have to walk as far to exit the station and I don't have to cross the busy street.
I still usually opt for the express train because if the platform isn't too crowded and I don't just miss the traffic light, I do get home faster.
But then every time I take the express train, I experience a tinge of anxiety that the platform will be more crowded than usual and I'll end up watching the local passengers going merrily on their way while I'm waiting to cross the busy street at the traffic light I just missed. After all, taking the express train should be quicker, and it's a bummer when it's not.
But today, I decided to forget the whole thing and just plan on being slower. I chose the local train. And I had the best subway ride I've had in a long time.
The pressure was off. I no longer had to worry about whether I'd get there faster, because I had already resigned myself to being slower—I was supposed to get home later. Essentially I had lowered my standard for speed.
And it got me thinking about my stutter. Would I enjoy talking more if I lowered my standard for speech?
posted by Closet Stutterer at 12:19 PM
2 Comments:
Hi Sophie
Well done in finding how standards apply to everything.
Instead of thinking of lowering your standards might I suggest you explore what standards you are applying to your speaking. When you came to these standards you were probably a child and coming to the best judgments you could about yourself and the world.
Perhaps the standards could be updated so that you can apply different more adult standards not lower but more realistic ones.
You might wonder what standards you would want your kids to be using and applying. Also you might be applying realistics standards but might be applying them as a child.
Sorry if this sounds condescending, it isn't meant to be. We all fall into this trap very frequently and that is whay you did brilliantly to notice it.
Best wishes
Peter
Hi Peter,
I like your way of looking at standards.
I'm starting to realize how much of what I think (about everything really) is based on a judgment or analysis I made as a child. As you suggest, it is very helpful to revisit these conclusions as an adult.
Thank you!
Sophie
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home