Forget Me Not?
In an effort to try to forget my stutter (and perhaps speak more smoothly), I've vowed to pay as little attention as possible to any stutters that do slip out. No more chastizing myself or dwelling on how choppy I sound.
Well, I haven't been terribly successful.
It would seem that an elaborate negative thought process is welded to each stutter. Whenever a stutter slips out, the awfulizing begins instantly—yuck, that sounded horrid! could my listener even understand me? what must they be thinking? and so on.
I try hard to limit the amount of time I dwell on a less-than-stellar speech episode, but that's just as seemingly impossible as forgetting my stutter altogether. After all, I'm already thinking about the episode, so how do I stop?
It's like that song you can't get out of your head and end up singing over and over again even though you don't want to.
Well, I haven't been terribly successful.
It would seem that an elaborate negative thought process is welded to each stutter. Whenever a stutter slips out, the awfulizing begins instantly—yuck, that sounded horrid! could my listener even understand me? what must they be thinking? and so on.
I try hard to limit the amount of time I dwell on a less-than-stellar speech episode, but that's just as seemingly impossible as forgetting my stutter altogether. After all, I'm already thinking about the episode, so how do I stop?
It's like that song you can't get out of your head and end up singing over and over again even though you don't want to.
posted by Closet Stutterer at 5:56 PM
4 Comments:
History of my life, I try to forget about my stuttering but it's impossible. I was thinking, its hard to forget something that you lived so much time with, you should accept it. Don't miss understand me, I'm not saying you should give up on searching for a cure. I did therapy for a long time but I'm going back now. I also bought this amazing book: Comprehensive Stuttering Therapy by Phillip J. Roberts. Search on Google you will find his homepage. Accept it but don't be passive about it, do something.
Thank you for your advice.
I agree that acceptance is very important. I guess I wish I could accept my stutter so much that I would stop worrying about how the words come out and just talk.
Thank you also for the book suggestion. I took a look at his web site. He seems to focus on ways to talk more fluently, which suggests to me that if I used his approach I would end up thinking about my speech more rather than less. Is that right?
Thank you again.
Sophie
You cant work in something you cant think about, or prefer not to. I just figured out its fine a stutter to think about its speech, that's what leads to a pursuit for help, don't you think?
I wrote the word cure on my last post, I guess it didn't work because there isn't a miracle formula like a medicine or a pill to restore your speech. Stutters need to automate their speech. We need to coordinate our speech with our respiration (at least in my case).
Well, the book is pretty interesting, I'm telling you. It is split in 2 parts. The first part is about the Valsalva maneuver (check wikipedia to read about it). It has something related with stutter. Second part is about changing your emotions, perceptions and behavior. 30 exercises and a lot or theory which is pretty good. Sorry for the review, I just like the book.
There is also an online free book about stutter. Go at http://www.stutter-no-more.com/ and download it. I didn't read it yet so I cant opine about it.
I've never talked about my stutter with anyone, at real or virtual world, otherwise my family and I fell good about it. Sorry if my post came out too big or my english is not well enough.
Thank you.
No need to apologize. I enjoy hearing your point-of-view and appreciate the time you've taken to respond.
Everyone is different. If actively working on smoothing out your speech feels right to you, then that's what you should do.
For me, I find that when I forget about my stutter, I speak much more smoothly and freely, so that's why I would like to stop scanning ahead, stop trying not to stutter, and just talk without thinking about it ahead of time. But that's just me.
I applaud you for going after what you want.
I would like to mention one thing about any books you read or any techniques you try, though. Please remember that if a technique doesn't work for you or the benefits wear off, then it's because the technique is wrong for you, not because you're doing it wrong or not trying hard enough.
We're all different and have had different experiences, so different things work for different people.
Good luck with your search, and thank you for writing.
Sophie
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