Removing the Stigma
Over the past few years, I've thought a lot about how to remove the negative stigma associated with stuttering and bumpy speech. Give talks to teachers? Employers? Anyone else who comes in contact with stutterers? Write a book and try to get everyone in the world to read it? Distribute flyers?
But the more I think about it, the most effective way is much simpler. If each individual stutterer talks with dignity and confidence regardless of how smoothly or choppily the words come out, eventually the world's view will change. Stuttering will be seen as merely a speech pattern, nothing more, and no one will really bother about it.
After all, look at people like Jack Welch. No negative stigma associated with him. No one even cares that he stutters, except perhaps stutterers.
I suppose that means I have to get out there and stop being ashamed of my stutter.
Who knows? Maybe, those blocks, stutters and other hesitations in my speech won't feel so bad if I view each one as getting us one person closer to making this a stutter-friendly world.
But the more I think about it, the most effective way is much simpler. If each individual stutterer talks with dignity and confidence regardless of how smoothly or choppily the words come out, eventually the world's view will change. Stuttering will be seen as merely a speech pattern, nothing more, and no one will really bother about it.
After all, look at people like Jack Welch. No negative stigma associated with him. No one even cares that he stutters, except perhaps stutterers.
I suppose that means I have to get out there and stop being ashamed of my stutter.
Who knows? Maybe, those blocks, stutters and other hesitations in my speech won't feel so bad if I view each one as getting us one person closer to making this a stutter-friendly world.
posted by Closet Stutterer at 8:09 PM
7 Comments:
Stuttering doesn't affect my self esteem all that much...but I doubt I'd ever get to the point where I wasn't ashamed of it. My brain tells me that I *should* be ashamed of it...even though, intellectually, I know that's wrong. It would take a lot of reinforcement to cement that in place, I think. ;)
Where does the shame comes from, though? If our world viewed stuttering as a positive characteristic --- attractive, cool, a sign of great intelligence, of wisdom, etc. --- would you still be ashamed of it?
I'm guessing it's the negative stigma that's fueling the shame, which is fueling the negative stigma, and so on.
Now, if only we could get stuttering to be the next "in" thing. . . . *:o)
Thank you for writing.
Sophie
Oops. That should have read "Where does the shame come from" (not "comes").
S
For me, the shame comes from not being able to do what comes natural and easy for everyone else. The shame comes from my perception of how I sound to others. If I have a cow lick in my hair, I am embarrassed because I know it looks funny to others. Same with the stutter. I don't like to stand out. :)
I can completely relate to that, too.
But if stuttering were considered more desirable than talking smoothly, would you still be bothered about being different?
I don't mean to go on about this. I just find this stuff fascinating.
Thank you for continuing the discussion.
Sophie
well I see it as people either don't understand change or do understand it. Stuttering is different, it stands out, people want to know what's going on.
So I dont think it can ever be a cool thing, if it ever became the new "in" thing then I think everyone would be faking it. I would really do anything to be able to talk the way I think.
-Nelson DCFD
Dear Nelson,
For decades, I've wished I could talk the way I think.
But then I suppose there are a number of things I wish I could do in real life the same way as I see myself doing them in my head --- getting everything done on the day's "to do" list I put together the night before, keeping my apartment tidy, and the list goes on.
At some point, we have to be kind to ourselves and not beat ourselves up for not quite doing things as well as we see ourselves doing them in our mind.
With speech, though, it is hard, because the majority of people can talk the same way they do inside their head.
Best wishes,
Sophie
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